The Short Time in Life

I went over to Newport today because all week I have wanted to just get out of Corvallis and be somewhere less hectic. I wanted to just get up and go to some place that was relatively quieter and away from all the stuff at school. I think it is a good thing to go do something far away from the things that represent stress in life. I went by myself, which may seem rather lonely, but it was actually kind of nice. I got to wander about, not having to stay with anyone, being able to do whatever I felt like. I guess it was while I walked around out on the sand that I thought about things, as I often do.

As my mind wandered, which also happens often, I thought about my friends and I thought about this girl. That always happens as a single guy right, you start thinking about the girl you like? I have felt lonely quite a bit here at school, missing friends and such, and I was feeling it a little more as I walked about on the beach. But as I kept thinking about this stuff, I came to a novel realization. For those of us people who are single, I realized it's fine to be single and not to lose heart. Not to be downtrodden by the loneliness. This is probably the shortest period of life we will face.

I think that from the time we first start "noticing" the opposite gender, we want to be with them. This is natural, of course. Chemicals start mixing and sensors start going off all over the brain. We get into middle school, high school, and college and find ourselves sick with the desire for companionship from the opposite sex. This is all very good, and I look forward to the day when I finally know that it is time to begin a relationship, but I have an interesting idea to introduce here.

When I said "this is probably the shortest period life we will face" I meant it, and here is why. If I was to say get married at age 25, and then only live to be 60, I would still have lived more than half of my life married, in a relationship. I would have spent 35 years in a relationship compared to the 25 I was not in one. Since the life expectancy for even a male in America is far higher than 60, it looks like I have a good chance of this happening. My point here is that it is OK to not be with someone right now if you are not. For those of you who have found someone, great! I hope it works out. I am talking to those of you who are sad and lonely because you do not have a man or a woman in your life. Do not be dismayed by all of this.

I guess the first thing that got me wanting to write this and started me down this line of thinking was a status update I read on Valentine's Day from a girl I went to high school with. It was lamenting the fact that she was not with someone. I know it is a hard thing to be single, I have done it for almost 19 years now, but this strange new thought came to me after I read it. Today at the beach only reaffirmed it I suppose. Think about the good things of being single.

The very fact that I was able to escape to the coast on my own was only possible because I am single. Think about it, if I had a girlfriend or wife and went to the coast by myself either without telling her or telling her that she could not come, I would be in major trouble. On the one hand she would be angry I did not tell her where I was going. On the other hand, she would be mad I did not want her to come along. There are other things about being single that are good things. If I wanted to do something with like "the guys" it is incredibly easy now. It's like this: you call up your buddy and say "hey, I'm gonna go climb a mountain, wanna come?" and he's like, "sure, when are we going?" "I was thinking about an hour." "Cool, let's go!" It's that easy.

If I want to travel, there is nothing holding me back besides money. I have all the time in the world because I do not have to devote it to anyone else. Now don't get me wrong here, it's awesome to be in a relationship and spend time with another person. It is great to meet someone else's needs. But this season in life, this relatively short time of being single (though it does not feel short now) is going to be over before you know it.

For those of you who are single, I challenge you to live life to the fullest now without another person for just a little while longer. Do not just rush into a relationship because you "need" to be with someone. I challenge you to go do some of the things you have always wanted to do. I myself would love to go study in Europe, and I think I am going to go do it next year. I am probably going to spend two months this summer in Canada working with a church plant. I know I could not achieve many of my dreams that I have if I were already committed to someone else. That is just the harsh reality of life.

Being in a relationship or being married is awesome, but do not forget to enjoy being single as well. This is a short time in life, and once it is over, it will not come back. There is life after being single, but there is also life during it. Live it to the fullest, realize your potential. Do the things you want to do while you still can. Remember to have as much fun single as you will in a relationship. If you take nothing more away from this, just remember that this is the short time in life; have fun living it.